Friday, December 08, 2006

OMERTA

Whoever appeals to the law against his fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of themself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "If I live I will kill you, if I die you are forgiven". Such is the Rule of Honor.

Friday, December 01, 2006

A question for all of you - off beat and out of context... Have you stumbled upon salvation? No? How about now?

Over the years we spent,
What makes us break like this?
And I'm no closer now
Would anyone care for it?

I wait for you on the street
I will sleep under the tree
Will try not to crush the leaves,
Like I did the day before

Sober, I made it through
So much to show for it
And in the morning I know
I'm still just as dead as before

Underneath lays the soul of a boy
Whose mind stays refused.
His heart still beats
The undeniable truth

And every night
I wake from shaking knees
Maybe I've found myself,
Or someone else

Thursday, November 23, 2006

ORKUT - SOMETIMES IGNORANCE IS BLISS!

We all know Orkut as the harbringer of good news for all people in the world. I keep hearing from people how it has changed their lives and brought them in touch with their old forgotten friends. Let me tell you my side of it.

So let me give you some background. In school, I was a brat! And I was not the only one... I had 3 similarly "gifted" friends ... The four of us made quite a crew and got into a lot of trouble as well... Aaah those were the days!

So I joined my school's community just for the heck of it. I was quite sure that no one from my batch (we go back to the age of the dinosaurs!) would join me there. Nevertheless, I tried my luck and scrapped a few random people whose names I vaguely remembered.

Just when I was about to give up and assume that all people from my batch did not know what the internet was, one of them sent me a message! And this guy was one of us "fantastic four".... I remembered the face, which was now plumper and wiser (and he said the same thing about me, except the wise part!)

So I got about to asking what he was doing... to my surprise, this one, the brattiest one of us all, had managed to make it big in life... He had a wife, a one-year old son and was quite well settled in Florida working as a manager in a big multinational! Life had turned out really good!

I got around to asking him what happened to the other two because this was the first time in about 14 years I was speaking to ANY of them. He was hesitant at first and said he did not feel like discussing the past times! I was surprised because these were the ONLY times we had shared.

After much pestering, he finally opened up and told me what had happened. Turns out that life had not been that nice to the other two. One of them was a washed up salesman going door to door selling polishing liquid. He had made a moderate fortune by starting his own cement factory. But then he got addicted to gambling and lost about 70 lakhs of his money in about 3 months! Soon, his wife left him, taking whatever little he had left. Last my friend had heard of him was when he bumped into him on a street somewhere in Mumbai and asked him for Rs 10 to buy some biscuits and chai! He promised to contact him again, but never did.

More surprising was the fate of the fourth one. A certified uber-nerd, this guy was a whiz at computing when electronic typewriters were the "in" thing! All of us were quite sure that he would one day make a mark in his field. Turns out, we were right. He completed engineering and IIT from India, went on to do his MBA from a prestigious Ivy League university from the states and by the age of 24 had joined a software giant in the US.

On 31st December, 2004, when partying with friends in New York City, this social smoker overdosed on a fatal mix of raw cocaine and white wine and was certified DEAD at 3.20 AM on January 1st 2005!

I was devastated! I remembered he was about 2 months younger to me. When you hear of people dying of drug overdoses, you somehow never think that it could happen to someone you know. And yet, here was a 27 year old whose life was snuffed out in the prime! All his friends said that he had never done drugs till then and all he wanted to do was find out what it was all about!

All I could say was "May his soul rest in peace" and I just wish that the other one would get in touch with one of us again so that we can help him out in some way!

Orkut had gotten me my friends back -- but somehow I feel I could have lived without this information about my other two friends. I was happy just imagining that they were happy wherever they were. Now that I know, I agree - sometimes ignorance IS bliss!

Monday, November 20, 2006

I can only imagine how much it must hurt when someone is hung by a rope to die. I will NEVER do that to myself or wish that on anyone... but the hurt is quite similar to feelings some people go through many times in their life and are yet alive to tell the tale... This is one such tale...

I suffer in hunger
Your name was written
On this empty plate
Of my unbecoming love

The more I crave for you
The more I bleed and hurt
Time can heal a broken heart
Or leave you to prey

The clock would tell for end
And fight away the dawn
Tomorrow is a door
The seal I´ll never break

Sorrow has paved the path
You keep sharpening the thorns
That will keep me awake
For as long as I walk

Can´t you see how it hurts
To be alone and lost like a leaf
I´m still lying alone
Wishing you were here

After all of this is gone
I´m still breathing
I have no heart to say goodbye
Yet no strengh to hold on

Friday, November 10, 2006

First Person Perspective

He wipes his hands
On anything in reach,
He never feels clean
He shakes at night
Because his nerve is gone,
Everything hurts

He stand as a victim,
as everything rots
He can't focus,
So he staggers around
Where there are no labels
And no rehabilitation

Come one and all
And see the broken man,
Talking to himself
He sits and waits
For something better,
He'll never find it here

He is surrounded
by the very thoughts he fears

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Its been a while since I posted anything. I happened to catch up with an old favorite song of mine, Vermillion Pt 2. Normally, when you hear of the band "Slipknot", you dont normally associate them with a song (or a video) like this. The video, directed by Mark Klasfeld, a person known for his slightly "unusual" videos, is actually very unsual. It features a girl floating like a leaf and I was completely blown away... Judge for yourself...

Watch the video here:

Vermillion 2

Vermillion Pt.2 Lyrics:

She seemed dressed in all of me,
stretched across my shame.
All the torment and the pain
Leaked through and covered me
I'd do anything ever to my self
Just to have her for myself
Now I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do
When she makes me sad

She is everything to me
The unrequieted dream
the song that no one sings
The unattainable.
She's a myth that I have to believe in
All I need to make it real is one more reason
I don't know what to do
I don't know what to do
When she makes me sad.

But I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me(x3)

A catch in my throat
Choke, torn into pieces I won't - No
I don't want to be this

But I won't let this build up inside of me
(won't let this build up inside of me)
I won't let this build up inside of me
(won't let this build up inside of me)(x3)

I won't let this build up inside of me(x2)

She isn't real (I won't let this build up inside of me)
I can't make her real (I won't let this build up inside of me)
She isn't real (I won't let this build up inside of me_
I can't make her real (I won't let this build up inside of me)

Friday, September 08, 2006

Overrated

I dont mind being ridiculed
Just to feel miniscule
If you consider it pitiful
You dont know a thing about me

Not trying to figure out
A better answer
Keep finding all the problems
I've been looking after

I abstained my part
Vision's all but shot
I have a confession
Must go for all the lessons

My skin, I paint with pain
Guess I dont care any more
My eyes turn from blue to brown
Its the end of everything

Flaws - only thing left that's pure
Everything I see reminds me of her
What the hell am I doing?
Am I wrong, fucked, and overrated?

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The war of the youth, inside themselves and against everyone!

YOUth

Denying the source
disconnected and sore
The choice is there
but our eyes are blind

Now what can be done?
We stand alone
Something inside us
tells us something is wrong

Fighting alone,
exhausted and torn
This time it's for real
but our will is weak

What if we fail,
no one will stay
Put out the light,
wave of anxiety we ride

Afraid of struggle and pain
Easier to sit down and wait
Ignorance is killing youth
Can't you see what I mean?

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

THE FRIDAY RITUAL

I have never been too good at writing in prose, have never been able to do much more than reviews and stuff. In fact, this might be the first time I am writing in this form. I just wanted to share some times that I will remember for the rest of my life.

It was about 3 years ago when I was working with my previous company. I had a lot of friends but very few who were REAL friends (and that STILL is the case.) So I ask you to imagine a friday night that was really dark and soaking wet, yet not very cold. In fact, it was hot and humid.

A couple of my friend and I were wondering how we were to spend this night. More precisely, where the hell were we going to get some booze. Since I was living alone then, I suggested we grab some booze and hang at my place watching DVDs on my 29" TV. The both of them immediately agreed and thus started what we called, and soon the entire company came to know, as "The Friday Ritual".

Now, make no mistake, this wasn't just a forum for us to get drunk and talk piss. We, and in specific, one friend and I, had arguements about work, love, family, marriage, social causes, global warming, cricket, sports, outer space, atheism, extra terrestrial life, computers, robotics, music, movies, culture, art and almost everything else under the sky. It came from the fact that neither one of us wanted to lose an arguement. It was a different matter that I was always the winner with my carefully structured method of persuasion using solid facts as support :-) . But my friend never graciously accepted defeat, in fact, he sulked in a corner nursing his drink, failing to find a verbose answer to my facts. And in the very few instances that I lost, I simply refused to accept it and continued to make half-assed attempts at continuing the arguement.

Check my friend's blog for an apt example: http://karthikinblogs.blogspot.com

This routine of ours continued for months together, so much so that we knew what kind of reply the other one would come up with enough before the other had thought of it. That kind of understanding between friends takes a lifetime to acheive, yet we were there within a couple of months.

Now you might think that this must have led to some kind of animosity between the two of us, but instead what it did was generate a gesture of friendship towards each other. Never until then did I have a friend who would not submit and never until then did he have a friend who could argue just for the pleasure of it. We were poles apart, yet closer than brothers.

Then, the cruelest of all maidens, time, played her hand. I had to move to greener pastures and so did he. We bid adieu and solemnly made a promise to each other that this would not be the end of our friendship or our "Friday rituals".

To this day, he and I continue to meet at least once a month and try to catch up. And we dont catch up because we want to talk about things that are really important. I want to catch up because with this person, I feel free. I have no inhibitions, no sense of fear or judgement. This person makes me feel at home. He is what people might call a "best friend", but actually, he is more than that to me. He is the one person who has the right to scold me, berate me, chide me... Something that no one else in the world has. And that's what a real friend is meant for. To push your chin up when times are bad and to clink your glass when the going is good...

Cheers to all people who have friends like this, I really hope you do.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Goddamit... The most fucked up week ever, personally...

DiReCtIoN

I've known faces
That have disappeared in time
Find me wrapped in glass
Now slowly soaked in time

All people have faces
made to make you cry
I've seen this and wondered
What I've done to justify

I'm smeared across the room
And doused in blood
You wore me like a stain
Yet I'm the one who's obscene

No attention to your
Simple little indiscretions
I have no right to win
Just caught up in all the battles

The end of my end
It simplifies my means
All I ever do is pay for
My every attempt to evade

I can't handle anything
If i can't handle you
Either way it better be
No one better ever pity me

Caught up in all my
Fuckin' bastardly directions
I've got all time to lose
Don't YOU fucking pity me

Friday, July 07, 2006

Caught up with an old favorite today... A heartfelt song from a father to his kid... Aaron Lewis of Staind wrote this song for his daughter, Zoe Jane, who was born after a lot of difficulty...If I ever have a daughter, this is one song that would definitely sing to her.. Come to think of it, this song would apply to anyone.. Or maybe not.. read on. And if you like the words, just ask me for the song.

Zoe Jane - Staind

Well I want you to notice
To notice when I'm not around
And I know that your eyes see straight through me
And speak to me without a sound

I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured
I want to show you
Show you all of the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way that a father should love his daughter

When I walked out this morning
I cried as I walked to the door
I cried about how long I'd be away for
I cried about leaving you all alone

I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured
I want to show you
Show you all of the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way that a father should love his daughter

Sweet Zoe Jane....
Sweet Zoe Jane.....

So I wanted to say this
Cuz I wouldn't know where to begin
To explain to you what I have been through
To explain where your daddy has been

I want to hold you
Protect you from all of the things I've already endured
I want to show you
Show you all of the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way that a father should love his daughter

Sweet Zoe Jane......
Sweet Zoe Jane.......
Finally... Got time for one...

"You'll never see me crying"

A lesson learned in life
Known from the dawn of time
What it takes, who I am, where Ive been
You cant be something youre not

I cry to weak friends that sympathize
Those same friends tell me your every word
And you call yourself a friend
Ive got no friends like you

Take your hate shelve my pride
Anything to free your mind
Sorry it doesnt live here anymore
You know just exactly what its for

Your love was all I ever had
That’s the way my heart was broke
And now it’s changed and it seems
You’ll never ever see me crying

Now I watch the falling rain
All my mind can see now is your face
Like the birth of a new found joy,
This love would not end in rage

Friday, June 23, 2006

Current mood : Oscillating between Black and Grey

Comfort your cries no longer
No one to pick you up
When you fall down
We who watch and feel your pain

I won't allow those around
Me to poison my judgment
I know, what is best
I am able to decide what is destiny

You don't get it,
You won't forget
So you're better off
Just leave it alone

If you don't stop thinking
Soon you will be drinking
And you're better off
Just staying at home

Monday, June 19, 2006

Presenting a song that has been haunting me for the past few days. The kid in the song is exactly what I was around 7-8 years ago.

FORT MINOR

"Slip Out The Back"

You know me, I used to get caught up in everyday life
Tried to make it through my day so i could sleep at night
Tried to figure out my way through the maze
Of rights and wrongs, but like you used to say
Nothing feels like it's really worth it
Forget perfect, i'm trying not to be worthless
Since i last saw you i been lookin for a purpose
Well i met this kid who thought like i did
He had a weird way of lookin at it
This is what he said

Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you dont wana be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared
Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you dont wana be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared

I dont remember where i met him or remember his name
But he walked funny like he was too big for his frame
Just over five foot but he weighed a buck fifty
And what he said just seemed so right it stuck with me
Listen its like poker you can play your best
But you got to know when to fold your cards and take a rest
And know when to hold your cards and hold your breath
And hope that nobody else is stacking the deck because
I dont need to tell you that life isnt fair, it doesnt care
It arbitrarily cuts off your air,
and like you i want someone to say its okay
But in the truest parts of our hearts everybody's afraid
But just underappreciated and overwhelmed
Fighting so hard to hide our fear that we're scaring ourselves
You understand when im saying that you always did
But its different in the words of a cowardly kid

I'm no hero, you remember how i was, you know
All I ever did was worry, feeling out of control
To the point where everything was going end over end
Im spinning around in circles again
This is where you come in
All of this to explain to you why
I had to separate myself away from yesterday's life
Please remember this isn't how i hoped it would be
But i had to protect you from me
Thats why i slipped out the back before you knew i was there
I know you felt unprepared
But every single time i was around i just bring you down
And i could tell that it was time to be scared
Thats why i slipped out the back before you knew i was there
And i know the way i left wasnt fair
I didnt want to be around just to bring you down
Im not a hero but dont think i didnt care

Friday, June 09, 2006

Selected verses from the song "The Channel"... When in a really fucked up mood, I tend to listen to such crap...

I hate all the people
That try to fuck you for your game
I don't like my childhood
I do not need someone else to blame

I don't like being paranoid
I don't like that I'm breeding again
but I accept all these cards I've been dealt
And just be without all the fucking friends

Who gives a fuck about what I like
who gives a fuck about who listens
as long as I'm here
as long as you know you can keep me here

for whenever you get lost
or you need an excuse to coverup your intentions
you hate that I express how I'm feeling
you hate that you relate to this shit

you hate that I'm a tick
you're finding hard to forget!
This is the channel I'm dialed into
I already know you, are dialed in too

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Sorry

Feeling so ashamed,
I'll take all the blame,
All my life I've been so confused,
Its all my fault, but I wont say

Maybe when I leave
I'll lead a life less empty
Maybe we were waiting way too long
To start this lifelong story

I'll accept not half
Of all these consequences
Maybe then that's when
I'll finally mean when I say I'm sorry

Today I look at your notes
I see your fear and I worry
What I could do to help myself
And sorry is not the hardest word anymore

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Rise
All these thoughts that capture me
They won't let me take control
I've got to rise above my life.
To find the reason I'm alive.

I'll save myself,
I'm all alone.
I've opened my heart
To see there's nobody home.

It's up to me,
I'm on my own.
The message of life is turning
Facing the storm.

My Life is filled with your memory.
You were deep within my heart.
You were deep inside of me.
And all this pain that I'm wrapped around.

If there's a heaven up above,
I see the angels falling down
Life is like a distress call,
wail deep within my soul, cry deep within me
_________________________________________

You

You lost all faith in promises
And in real love closing in
Tired of deciphering
Your wayward mind's strands of truth

Puzzled by the trappings
Your words make the edges blur
Standing on the outskirts
Of sincerity and pride

The ends of your conditioning
To swallow, and force to like it
Choose to keep me in the dark
Than look me in the eye

There's something in the words I hear
That makes me want to take a stand
You think its gone on too long
I would have chosen to disengage

So what if healing takes forever
so what if time is meant for others
so what is left is but to shatter
Can't what is broken be whole?

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Silence

Silence is reeling in my head
I dont want to remember this
But it must be what I miss
Suddenly I find I’m standing still
Staring at the ground, waiting for a sound
The voice of loss is sighing through the night
And as I turn around, nothing's to be found
For hours now upon this endless road
Is it taking me where I long to be?

Serendipity??

You leave your feelings out there hanging
Just don’t know what I will do
It always will be the same old story
This kind of love could never be true

What in the world has come over you
Should I hold you close or let you go by
Just fed up, tired and lonely
Wanting to run away and hide

I was riding, trying to get to heaven
Down the road to nowhere
Just standing in the doorway crying
Until my eyes begin to bleed

Saturday, April 29, 2006

People say that I stare a lot. But how do you appreciate beauty with just a glance? Is it possible to drink it all in a sip? How can you just take one look and be done with? I call this "Stalker"

Don't look her closely in the eye,
What side of the glass you are on?
The safety of the life you have built,
Everything where it belongs

What if all the world you know,
Was just an expansive dream?
If you look at the reflection,
Find yourself afraid to see

And you're really all alone
You can live in this illusion,
You can choose to believe.
Is it all you want it to be?

We're in this together now
None of us can stop us now
When all our hope is gone
And all that we were is gone

Under the rust of time
Feelings don't disappear
I cant help but stare
Because you are still right there

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Its been a long time since my last post, but I have been really busy and have not had any time at all. Today's posting takes me back to what is regarded as the turning point in Metallica's journey in metal - The Black Album. The album marked their entry into the mainstream, with shorter songs, simpler song structures, and slower tempos overall. More in the review :



I have put off this review for a long time, but now i know what to say: it's way too hated because it's the major mainstream album. I couldn't care less, it has everything Metallica had before except the fast speed. Sure, it's not a classic like Master of puppets, but it's far from any other album.

The "Black Album" is a turning point in the history of rock music. Rarely has a such a hyped up album lived up to the billing. Granted, the hits such as Sandman, Sad But True and Nothing Else Matters are played out. However, the album never stops delivering. The production of this album is flawless. I maintain that if Justice was recorded the same way this album was, it would be regarded as the best Metallica album in the catalog. Besided the hits, the album has underappreciated tracks such as "Of Wolf and Man", "God that Failed" and "Holier than Thou". If you want to get into Metallica, this is the first stop. While it may not be their greatest album, its damm close and you will not be dissapointed.

Track Listing:
1.Enter Sandman: What alot of people consider Metallica's trademark song, putting this track first best shows Metallica's evolution from crashy thrash since Dyer's Eve on ..And Justice for All. Even though this track is hard and heavy anybody who is anybody will dig this track. 10/10
2.Sad But True: You know how great a song is when even crappy rock posers like Kid Rock use the riffs in their songs (I still think "American Bad@ss" or whatever that track is called sucks, dont get me wrong). Kirk's riffs are outstanding, they are not like the overly heavy riffs from Justice, it sounds like hard rock guitar. If you could look up hard rock sound in the encyclopedia, this would be right next to it. 10/10
3.Holier than Thou: Even though they were no longer thrash, the transition isn't always a good thing. Take Holier than Thou for example: its a hard rock track but it is also obviously filler material. The guitar on here sounds too much like Scott Ian rhythm (which isn't bad, but this is Metallica) and the lyrics aren't really great ("No more, the crap rolls out your mouth again"? WTC!!) 6/10
4.The Unforgiven: Metallica's first true power ballad. I wouldn't call Fade to Black or Sanitarium power ballads, they are more darker songs, of subject material that is frightening while this song is about.... wait, what the crap is it about? It makes no friggn sense! The lyrics are inspired, Hammetts guitar work is moving, but I still don't know the message behind it! Unlike other so called "old metallica fans", I actually like this song better than their previous efforts; it shows real evolution for a band to go from "ahh, F#$k you!" to "want to join us at Borders?" 9.5/10
5.Wherever I may Roam: Another Tallica classic, the guitar work form Kirk on this track is ART. Thank god Lars and James finally let him wear the pants for at least this track or who knows how long he would have been doing thrashy riff after thrashy riff. If I learned anything from this track it is that if it weren't for Kirk's artistic playing in this album and the ones before it Metallica would sound like every other overtly heavy thrash band. 10/10
6.Don't Tread on Me: Unlike the whole Justice album, at least this song doesn't leave the listener thinking: "its about justice, ladefriggn DA!" Its a short song for Metallica in this age and time but the lyrics actually make freedom sound good. I think Kirk has a great guitar piece in this, which he probably picked up from lessons with Joe Satriani when he just joined Metallica. 10/10
7.Through the Never: This song sometimes seems like they added it just to make an album over an hour in length. First, the guitar work is weird, so almost everything else on this. Sounds like they were TRYING TO MAKE FILTER. Fluff: 6/10
8.Nothing Else Matters: This track is what I would call the centerpiece of the album. Sure, Enter Sandman may be the biggest single from this album and Unforgiven may be Tallica's first power ballad, but this is hard rock classic defined. Everyone is like:" Man, One is Metallica's best ever!" Whatever! One is nowhere near their best! It's great but not the best. The string arrangement adds a whole dimension to Metallica's playing and enriches Kirks playing. Kirks guitar spots are almost reminiscent of Randy Rhoads' spots in "Diary of a Madman" or "Revelation (Mother Earth)". Just when I though we would never hear what Kirk always called his "Rhoads influenced guitar playing", not only does the song sound great, but it ends up being what many call Metallica's greatest work. 11/10
9.Of Wolf and Man: Loud, Heavy, straight-out metal. The intro bang drum assault and loud tempo rings are stringing to the soul. Also, these lyrics scream "James Heitfeld!" so loud it isn't even funny. 10/10
10.God that Failed: A good song, not filler but not "Wow!" 8/10
11.My Friend of Misery: Long, complex songwriting with a bit of zucato instument work. Not very impressive, I think it is a little overated. 8/10
12.Struggle Within: It is really hard to write reviews for albums with more than 10 tracks, that is why these latter track reviews suck like crap, so I will try as hard as I can to do a good job on this one. This is the fast paced allout rocker on this album, the vocals are fast paced and aggressive, the drums and bass loud, but the standout on here is definitely Kirks solo: it is pure awesomeness. It sounds like classic VH virtuoso mixed with with heavy Motorhead-like tempo, the first obvious virtuoso guitar work i have heard from Kirk. 10/10

When Metallica released this album in 1991, they had already earned a fanbase that was so strong and dedicated to their music. And since ...And Justice For All hit #6 on the charts, it's no surprise that this album went straight to #1. Produced by Bob Rock, the sound is more solid and polished than the previous albums. What sets Metallica apart from other bands who have taken this route, however, is that the music is still heavy and on their own terms. Yes, the 8 minute prog-metal jams and 220 bpm thrash beats are gone, but the songs sound great with a more simple structure, and it's tight as ever. The bass comes through much better than the previous album, and the drums sound very full without sounding like a Poison or Ratt album. This is not Metallica's angriest or darkest album despite the album cover. But, not only is it one of best records they have ever made, it is one of the best records ever made, period.

Friday, April 21, 2006

This is what happens when you have a REALLY bad day....

Periphery of change
Just an illusion
Disputed dreams
Of revolution

Your morality is hypocrisy
Obsessive self-esteem
Enforcing your ideals
Your puritanical dream

Siege of power
Inside your fucked up mind
Outward restrictions
To keep you in line

Hide behind others
Hide behind life
You should be living
But you only survive

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

One last thing that I HAD to post.. this one is very dear to me...

Reflection

So I won't have to say a word
What I never meant to say
Make it right again some day

Say you'll never leave, please
This war inside my mind is killing me
When you're staring at the ground

Wishing that you didn't know
What I'm really thinking
You won't even look at me now

A knife cuts deeper than a hammer's fall
But the pain is the same when
You're losing it all

The sound is coming closer
I feel it in my veins tonight
Shame on me, my black heart

The mirror is on the floor,
Shattered a million bits
Each reflecting my eyes

Monday, April 17, 2006

I know I am getting kinda repetitive with posting of my "pieces", but I think I just can't help it.. :-)... Anyway, here goes another one...

Beautiful

As beautiful as the sun
As wonderful as they come
I can't help but feel attached
To feelings i can't even match

I'm sure you know me well,
As i'm sure you don't
But you just can't tell
Who'll you want and who you won't

Let the clouds roll by your face
Let the world move on to another place
Climb the tallest roof above it all
To look down on you and me and them

Here just waiting for you
Under your stars forever
Neither here nor there just right beside you
I'll be under the stairs forever

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Some more pieces that I thought of posting...

This one's unnamed yet...

Crossroads outside of town
Let heartbroken faces shine
In city lights, so far and dull
Turning left, I know it's time

With an urgent wind upon my rolling heels
To carry me along
My face downcast
That I turn to ruins passed and home

Wander off in the dead of night
Past terrors and broken homes
Wipe the sleep from your eyes
Of riverbanks and catacombs

Sleeping to the bee and the sea
Always lived this life alone
Lay down beneath the loft
Cry out I know it's time

Love is everything I want
Is it bright where you are
Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you're so strange
And in your darkest hour
I hold the secret flames

Silent times

Silent times are sliding away
Ones in grey shroud of sky and stars
When this world was young
Under bloody eye of anger

People of all kind
Killed each other here
Now in hard embrace of the unknown
Are their eyes in mortal suffering

Gripped by thick ice of ages
Fierce, indocile, yet beautiful
Forest's Gloom collided together
Satiated with blood the Earth

And Wind's roar with suffering
At sunset battle's hammer subsided
It was dark and peace in universe
All were dead and unstable swamps
Grew their grave forever

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

As I mentioned earlier, I have grown up in terms of my writing abilities... I think I am very selfish when it comes to writing stuff... I cannot be as heartfelt as some people... I am sometimes very blunt and unorthodox.. Hope you like these few pieces.. They are, after all, pieces of me...

Stand Strong Alone (2005)

Confrontation can break you down to your very last compound.
Beat you down, drag you around to break you
Refuse to bend, never ever let it take you
Over the edge where you can never break through.

Overcome, set back, stand strong alone
The good, the bad, the truth, the unknown
Locked up at war with the demons within
I fight to live, I live to win.

The harder that I battle with life's deceit,
The stronger I stand on my own two feet.
If I allow the world to assimilate my mind,
Will my freedom be forever denied?

________________________________________________________

Colors (2005)

Over seeing, over analyzing
separates my body from the mind.
Withering my infatuation,
missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment
drawing outside the lines.

Black then grey are all i see in my infancy.
Blue and red then came to be, reaching out to me.
Lets me see there is so much more and
Smiles at me to look through to these possibilities.
As down, so above and beyond, I think
Drawn beyond the lines of thought.
Push the will. Watch it bend.

_______________________________________________

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

I have always maintained that music is something that has helped me conquer difficulties in life. When confronted with a problem, there is just one recourse for me...

One such song that I have been listening to a lot these days is Sevendust's "Xmas Day".The atmosphere is dependably dark and gothic - to match the leeches and forked tongue depicted within the CD booklet - and this ominous near-ballad finds some real weight within waves of desperation.

You can listen to a sample from this song by visiting http://www.last.fm/music/Sevendust/_/Xmas+Day

Of course, if you need the entire song, email me!

XMAS DAY - Sevendust

One step in the dark
Touch her hand just to see
If she's all alone again
Still she hasn't seen sun
But I promise you now when she wakes
There will be none
Don't know how she gets by
Sleeps with a phone on her chest
And a bottle that's totally dry
Forgets the day I was born
But if she saw me right now
She would hold me until we both die

I could be the one who would die to
feel you breathe

I could break into a million pieces
So just run as fast as you can for me
You mean everything

I can't deny her. I'll do whatever
To stop all the bleeding that makes
her world so red
Such a delicate one
She screams so loud that I run to
hide from the sound
And I could be the one who would die
to feel you breathe
But it's too far-gone
And this love cant die


Until the next time... Cheers!!!

Friday, March 31, 2006

Taking a break from my regular review postings because someone felt that it was getting too repetitive .. so, I am posting something that I created a long time ago.. Hope you like it... And yes, I have grown up since then :)

Pin Prick on a lonely Tuesday Afternoon (1999)

Want to keep something precious
Lock it up and throw away the key
You want to hold on to possessions
Dont even think about me

If its a mirror you want
Just look into my eyes
I'm a whipping boy
Someone you love to despise

A prisoner in the dark
Tied up in chains you can't see
Or a beast in gilded cage
Thats all some people want to be

I've spent too many years
At war with myself
The doctor has told me
Its not good for my health

To search for perfection
Is all very well
But to look for heaven
Is to live here in hell

There were rooms of forgiveness
In the house that we shared
There were cupboards of patience
There were shelves of care

But forever conditioned to believe
I cant live and be happy with less
So many riches, so many souls
Everything I see in you, I want to possess

______________________________________________

And another one I dug up that I call "Tourist in your Arms" (2000)

I was never good at loving you
Never good at coming through for you
You are going to feel much better
When you cut me loose forever

I was dying when we met
I bet my life on you
But you called me and I folded
Like you always knew I would do

I was good at taking out the garbage
Pretty good at holding up the wall
Dealing with the fire and the quake
Company kept with one and all

I was never good at loving you
I was just a tourist in your arms, admiring the view
The moon looked from behind the wall
I think the moon's already seen it all

___________________________________________

And finally.. something that I wrote when I was 14.. in 1991. I call this "Anthem of the Birds"

Birds sing at the break of day
Shining brightly as the morning ray
Dont dwell on what has passed
Or what is yet to be

The wars, they will be fought again
The holy dove will be caught again
Bought and sold and bought again
The dove is never free

Sometimes you add up the parts
But you cant get the sum
To every heart love will come
But like a refugee

So ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
Thats how the light gets in

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

In their 1996 album "Roots", Sepultura experiments with minor-key dynamics and atonal harmonics, imbuing their wall of noise with an oppressive sense of mystery. They also extend their musical horizons, adding clattering tin drums and what sounds like a jew's-harp to "Breed Apart," and garnishing "Lookaway" with DJ scratching, half-speed vocals, and a gothic, chiming mid-section. Read the review...



Even though "Chaos A.D." was Sepultura's bravest and most innovative album (because it premiered a song which was an instrumental consisting entirely of acoustic guitars and tribal drums), I still consider "Roots," Sepultura's sixth, their most experimental and creative work. This 1996 album was also Sepultura's last with frontman Max Cavalera; he would leave the group and go on to front a solo band, Soulfly. And, until 2004's "Prophecy," "Roots" was also more experimental than anything Max would make in Soulfly.

"Roots" is still a heavy metal album, but the death metal is long gone, because (as was the case with "Chaos A.D.") these riffs are tinged with punk. Plus, since Max adopted Korn's downtuned guitars and had guest appearances, some fans think this album helped usher in nu-metal. I, however, still believe that the experimental aspects of "Roots" made it innovative.

"Roots, Bloody Roots" is the first single, probably the heaviest song on "Roots," and is one of Sepultura's best known songs. It remains a staple of their live shows, and the success of this song has influenced some Soulfly songs (like "Prophecy.") Plus, Max has even adopted this song as his own, and played it during some Soulfly concerts. The album opens with the sound of crickets chirping, then this song launches into heavy, de-tuned guitar bluster. These guitars, which make a heavy churning and humming noise, are a big part of why this song is so heavy and catchy (even though there are some good vocal hooks, here, too). I enjoy how the beat comes down, then Max comes out of no where to let out one of his loud, ascending yells.
"Attitude" features guitars which are at first flamenco, then punching and pounding.
"Ratamahatta" is the song with the Brazilian tribe. It begins with what sounds like maracas and tribal drums. The guitars kick in and there's some catchy, aggressive scat in the background. The verses on this song are soft and restrained, making a good friction between the verses and heavy choruses.
"Breed Apart" has tin drums at the beginning, before turning to chunky, chug and churn guitars and vocals that alternate from supple growling to raging yells. The Jew's harp comes aboard and plays briefly over the beat, and the song ends with some static-sounding white noise.
"Spit" starts with (what sounds like) guitar feedback and some distant yelling (of "Un, dos, tres, cua!") The crunchy guitars eventually come to the front, and there are a few more of Max's heavy yells.
"Lookaway" has an instrument that could be a flute and a catchy drum beat, followed by DJ scratching (compliments of DJ Lethal-a DJ who would later join Limp Bizkit). Even though there are some guitars, this song's pace is about half as fast as the others. Two guest vocalists, Faith No More's Mike Patton and Korn's Jonathan Davis, make an appearance and sing/whisper over distant, dreary, ghost-like noises.
"Dusted" begins with a banging of the drum sticks, then the guitarists (Andreaas Kisser and Max Cavalera) make some of the heaviest and fastest guitar riffs since track one.
"Born Stubborn" has a beeping guitar noise which becomes increasingly fast and heavy, but some more tribal drums and Brazilian chants are tossed in near the end.
"Itsari" mixes more South American chants and maracas with acoustic guitar strums and soft hand percussion.
"Ambush" is highlighted by a nice breakdown of heavy, groove-y guitars, which comes after the song veers into soft, serene territory.

All the bands that were influenced by this monumental album (including Soulfly) have not been able to match the incomparable ferocity and raw rage that Roots unleashed onto an unsuspectful public almost 10 years ago. It is highly unlikely anyone ever will too.

If we were to scan for the most significant releases in music (and i mean in all the musical spectrum) "Roots" would rate way up there amongst the most original and influential albums of all time, not to mention one that drew yes many copycats but like all genius efforts it's nearly impossible to reproduce.

What's more substantial is that the band established themselves with "Roots" as one with one of the most important rock albums of all time under their belts, one of those albums that justifiably deserve the title of "definitive rock album", in fact, and as far as I'm concerned it's among the top 5 rock albums in this genre's history. If for whatever reason you've missed out on this classic do yourself a huge favor and discover it.

Coming next: Creed, with "Human Clay"...

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Metallica, never resting, never ceasing to innovate or amaze, bring us an extraordinary document of their concert with the San Francisco Symphony. Metallica's select favorites unfold like never before with the eloquent symphonic backing; they have never sounded more powerful or dramatic. Presenting Metallica with the San Fransisco Symphony Orchestra - S & M



What happens when you mix a heavy metal band with the San Francisco Symphony? High quality sounds that compliment one another. This is a highly creative (and original) task. The bass is particularly noticeable, vibrating entire rooms if played loud enough.

As an owner of many concert DVD's, the sound on this is amazing. Metallica sonically shine on this DVD. It will knock your socks off with or without a Home Theater System. The orchestra adds texture and fills that allow the band to emphasise the potent riffs, crunchy tight rythmns and razor edged solos. All backed with the furious precision of blisteringly fast percussion. Metallica play with emotion and they are captured beautifully with inventive camera angles that seem to coincide with the music especially during the opening of One.

The making-of documentary is a treat for fans as it shows the band at their most honest. I'm sure Metallica's other DVD's showcase that aspect better but I thought it was interesting. Devil's Dance, Fuel, Memory Remains all sound good with the symphony but aren't very good songs, especially with the early catalog of Metallica's music. Songs like Fade to Black, Unforgiven, Sanitarium, could have been incredible additions and could have made this concert something special. Hetfield sings from the heart while Lars goes completely insane during One - until you have heard that song on this DVD you have not truly heard it. This may well be Metallica at the very height of their musical abilities.
Fuel is too fast for the symphony and just sounds odd. Hetfield sings from the heart while Lars goes completely insane during One - until you have heard that song on this DVD you have not truly heard it. This may well be Metallica at the very height of their musical abilities.

The 2 new songs are OK but nothing groundbreaking. However, the 2 tracks that make this DVD worth owning are Master of Puppets and One. Nothing Else Matters, sends shivers down my spine, especially if listened to during a particularly negative mood swing. Nothing else matters indeed, especially after you listen to this and get over the pain you may experience at a particular time.

These are incredible songs on their own but coupled with a good symphonic arrangement and perfect sound and a gutsy vocal performance, these songs flat out pound your audio system and are visually impressive. Enter Sandman is another concert staple and sounds great as well with the addition of the symphony, however, the guitars are a bit muted.

An honarble mention is the hyper-fast Battery. A long favorite of mine from the PUPPETS album, it quite possibly sounds better here, than it does on the remastered album. Metallica play with guts here and in my opinion, sound incredible with the symphony in most cases. All in all, worth owning to wow your friends if you have a nice sound system and if you are a fan. My only gripe aside from track selection, is the somewhat muddy production and the average picture quality. Highly recommended and warn your neighbors because it will shake your room.

Coming next : Album Review - Sepultura : Roots

Monday, March 27, 2006

Type O Negative is a somewhat unknown band in Indian metal circles... This is a gothic-doom metal band from Brooklyn, New York. Their dry, morbid and self-ironic sense of humour often reflects in their slow and brooding music. Peter Steele, their 7 Foot tall frontman, is a Goliath in every sense. He writes some of the most inane, but at the same time, some of the most intense stuff. This brings me to their "Best Of" album... amusingly titled "The Least Worst Of"...



If Soundgarden had a head-on collision with Black Sabbath (whose "Black Sabbath" they cover) while Sisters Of Mercy was in the middle, you'd get Type O Negative. Or, as better described by brooding frontman/bassist Peter Steele, Type O Negative play a unique brand of "Gothadelic Industrimetal." Well put.

I have no clue as to how these guys aren't more successful, they're absolutely amazing. I've always liked Type O Negative's songs, I just never got around to buying any of their CDs, so when "The Least Worst Of" came out, I had to buy it. I'm still kicking myself for not getting into them much sooner. The only real complaint I have, which I'm getting out of the way first, is that "Haunted" isn't included. That was the first Type O Negative song I ever heard, and its absence is definitely tragic. Never mind that though, that's not even a fault, just me whining. Besides, with amazing songs like "Black No.1," "Everyone I Love Is Dead," "My Girlfriend's Girlfriend," "Cinnamon Girl," and, well, the rest of the CD, there's nothing to complain about.

What makes TON so good though, is Peter Steele. His vocals are deeper than a grave, and he is definitely one of the greatest lyricists in music. He's smarter than Marilyn Manson, funnier than Insane Clown Posse (just pretend they're funny), more depressed than, um, me, and more cynical than anybody I've ever heard. Take, for example, "Unsuccessfully Coping With The Natural Beauty Of Infidelity." Not only is it the greatest title for a song ever, but it's a mini-epic unto itself successfully combining rage, humor, and the drive of thrash. My favorite part is when Peter starts screaming "I know!" while his band repeats him in the background (I know, as in, I know you're cheating on me; that's what they're talking about). If you don't laugh after hearing that song, check your pulse, as you probably are dead.

My personal favorite on this album is "Black No. 1," which is about hair dye (as well as the ever-occuring theme of despite for some woman). Sure, it is funny (especially if you're a Goth with a sense of humor), but it's also amazing musically as well. Another funny one is one of the four unreleased "new" tracks, "Stay Out Of My Dreams." I won't say anything other than you have to hear what Peter's saying, it's absolutely hilarious. "Cinnamon Girl (Depressed Mode Mix)," a Neil Young cover, is one of the best songs here. It's both psychedelic and danceable. How unique is that?

The band's Metal highlight is their cover of Black Sabbath's "Black Sabbath (From The Satanic Perspective)." Peter Steele sounds even more evil than Ozzy himself, and their cover rivals the original (I'm serious). Unlike the lame poser Goth-Metal bands that are out there today (Marilyn Manson, Coal Chamber, Cradle Of Filth, etc.), TON get both the Goth AND Metal side right. Bottom line is this: If you were foolish like I was and hadn't bought any TON albums, redeem your status and purchase "The Least Worst Of." This band is utterly brilliant. Here's to another decade of great Type O Negative material. "The Least Worst Of" is, simply put, a perfect album.

Reviewing next: DVD review - Metallica: S & M with the San Francisco Symphony

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Today's post brings me to what is my favorite alternative metal album. Come to think of it, this album established a new genre all its own called 'Art Rock.' The first time I heard A Perfect Circle's debut album 'Mer De Noms' (Sea of Names) was back in 2000. Their first album was groundbreaking in the sense that James Maynard Keenan fused the complex sounds of his other band 'Tool' with a melodic metal sound. More in the review..



I initially bought this casette (later CD)because of its beautiful cover. But after just one listen I learned that the cover accurrately depicts what they go for, beautiful music. Whether it is heavy or melodic, they create some of the best music that's out today. A Perfect Circle has the gift of being able to conjure up images through their music. Very few bands have that ability these days, nor does anyone really try.

Maynard writes some of the best, most eccentric lyrics out these days and he does it with little problem. His voice is your guide through this epic journey that just doesn't stop. After the last note of the last song you feel that you have just finished the journey of your life. Every song on here pulls out all stops and flows perfectly. A lot of bands these days hit a rough spot or two during a song, but this band, no matter what tempo of music they're playing, just glides through every song with ease. The texture created blends utterly amazingly with Maynard's voice.

This CD starts off with The Hollow. Possibly one of my favorite songs on here. The lyrics are great and the instrumentation is absolutely perfect for the mood of this song. 3 Libras is one of the slower songs on here, but don't let that drive you away from it. This song is so thick with emotion that you can feel where he's coming from. The band keeps it down on here, and in doing so puts Maynard's lyrics proudly on display.

Thinking Of You is a song with a bridge so catchy that it'll be in your head for days. I love the beginning of this song, simply because they use an unusual mix of instruments that create some good ear candy. Orestes has to be the best song on this album, with the line "bring me into your perfect circle" providing the basis for APC's name, and some very chilling lyrics. Magdalena's screaming guitars and deep bass lines give me shivers, as does Maynard's long note at the end of Judith.

"3 Libras", the song that got me into the band in the first place, is flat out gorgeous. It begins with a beautifully orchestrated string intro, then goes from mid-tempo ballad to a heavy, emotional finale. The creepy industrial-atmospheric assault, "Rose", which culminates with elegant strings. The raucous "Thomas". "Sleeping Beauty", in which Maynard puts a slight twist on the classic fairytale of the same name. And finally, the aggro-funk of "Thinking Of You". The CD ends with the appropriately named "Over." There's nothing complicated to this song, just Maynard reciting some lyrics with a light background beat.

Some stand-outs on this disc are The Hollow, Judith, 3 Libras, Thinking Of You, and Over. This is one of those records that you can listen straight through and love every single song. Although I like their new CDs, I strongly doubt that they will ever top this CD. This is a CD that you can listen to no matter what mood you're in, and that's something only a select few bands can accomplish because of its beautiful cover. But after just one listen I learned that the cover accurrately depicts what they go for, beautiful music. Whether it is heavy or melodic, they create some of the best music that's out today. A Perfect Circle has the gift of being able to conjure up images through their music. Very few bands have that ability these days, nor does anyone really try.

Coming next: Album review for Type O Negative - The Least Worst Of

Friday, March 24, 2006

Continuing with the series of album review, we come to what can be considered one of nu-metal's (I know, I know, its a dead genre) best albums. Reviewing today, Korn's self titled debut album...



A lot of people bashed this album and I can't for the life of me understand why. If you just flat out don't like Korn, then yeah, I'll understand that, but if you do like rock, then you should, I would think, rejoice in this album. Afterall, Korn's self-titled debut shows Korn at their peak. Jon will probably never recapture the rage of the lyrics, or even his voice with this release, and the band, well, I think it's safe to say they peaked here and are coasting along now. I can't find a single song that I don't absolutely love on here, I think this is one of the most consistent rock CDs, if not the most, that was lumped in with the 'Nu Metal' label.

Blind, I'm convinced, is Korn's best song. From the second Jon asks the rhetorical question of 'Are you ready?' to his final scream of 'I'm blind', there's not even a question of whether this is Korn's best. Ball Tongue's first 33 seconds always has me floored, it's one of the best beats Korn has put out. The chorus is pretty chaotic so all that equals a very good song. While I like 'Need To' a lot, if I had to pick a weak song, this would be it. 'Need To' is very catchy and has some really good lyrics though. 'Clown' could do without the little intro it has, but despite that, it's one of the best songs featured. 'Divine' is your basic straight-forward Korn song. I like the verses much better than the chorus though. 'Faget' is, no doubt, a personal song. While it's a bit heartless to say, Jon's pain equals good music and 'Faget' is proof. 'Shoots And Ladders' is probably my second favorite Korn song behind 'Blind.' The chorus is the only original part lyrically since the rest is simply nursery rhymes, but the build up to the beginning is amazing. The use of bagpipes should've shown that Korn wasn't like the rest of the bands they were compared to. The rest of the CD, aside from 'Daddy,' is pretty much you like it or you don't, I like it, but I could understand if you didn't. 'Predictable' is another one of the more straight forward tracks featured yet it's got its own feel and stands alone. 'Fake' has a slower feel to it, but the chorus picks up the pace for those of you who can only hear riff after riff. 'Lies' is a song a lot of my friends don't like. I'll admit it's weaker, but nonetheless, I still like it. 'Helmet In The Bush' is one of my favorite songs on here. It's nowhere near the heaviest song on here and there's not much screaming, it's probably the slowest song on here actually, but Jon's voice is something to listen to. 'Daddy' is without a doubt the emotional peak on this CD and rightfully finishes off the CD. For the longest time I would have this song on repeat for hours because everything about it is done to perfection. Jon's emotion is palpable and the rest of the band is even more intense than usual. To this day 'Daddy' still gets to me.

My favorite songs on here are Blind, Faget, Shoots And Ladders, Helmet In The Bush, and Daddy. Korn tends to be one of those bands that I can't stop listening to for about a month or two, but then I'll go five or six months without ever thinking about them. The fact remains though that they did, whether you'll admit it or not, make some very memorable songs. It's safe to say that this CD serves as a virtual 'best of' seeing as how every song is nothing short of amazing.

Coming next : The album review for A Perfect Circle's 'Mer De Noms'

Thursday, March 23, 2006

From today, whenever I have time, I will be reviewing one of my favorite albums or DVDs.. So, of course, the first one I have chosen is the all time epic album by Metallica... presenting... MASTER OF PUPPETS

Master Of Puppets is an immortal classic, a defining moment in metal's history. This is the sound of youthful fury that knows how to play guitar really, really well. This is the greatest accomplishment thrash metal has ever achieved. And above all, it rocks. 1986 was arguably the golden year for thrash metal. Between Slayer's "Reign In Blood" and Megadeth's "Peace Sells..." it would have been great enough, but throw this into the mix, the best of the three, and you have a hallmark year. The way I see it, "Master..." was the first genuinely mature heavy metal album, addressing real issues such as drug abuse, war and religious corruption. The technical proficiency of each member is dazzling, and they all know it. With huge instrumental sections and solos populating the whole album, by the time the 54 minutes are up you'll be picking your jaw up off the floor. James Hetfield's voice was also in it's prime here, suitably gruff to compliment the albums general atmosphere. What's also remarkable is the variety shown between songs, another symptom that this is a true masterpiece. The songs range from thrash attacks, like "Battery," to fist-pumping hammer-fests, guaranteed to get you headbanging like "Leper Messiah," to the surprisingly emotional instrumental "Orion." This also stands out as being a great work as, despite the fact that it is fast and brutal enough that it should please fans of even the most vicious metal out there, it's still reasonably accessible - that's not something many bands are capable of making. The best song on here is probably the epic "Disposable Heroes." All in all, an indispensible classic. You can't call yourself a music fan without it.

Next time, something comtemporary.. something Modern Rock.. something Korn.. :)

Current listen: Metallica - Master of Puppets, Apocalyptica, Sepultura, Limp Bizkit - 3 Dollar Bill Y'all

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Thanks to Evanescence who did an excellent cover of this already excellent song by Korn, I have been listening to this song non stop for the past few days .. its got shades of misery, compounded by a lingering sense of helplessness against an enemy that is too big to comprehend or beat... presenting, Thoughtless...

Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies,
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down.
I wanna see you try to take a swing at me.
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground.
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the fuck you think you're doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me.
I want you crying with your dirty ass in front of me.
Oh, all my hate cannot be found.
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming.
So, you can try to tear me down,
Beat me to the ground,
I will see you screaming.
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies,
I'm above you smiling at you - drown, drown, drown.
I wanna kill you the way you killed me.
And I'll pull the trigger and you're down, down, down.
All my friends are gone; they died.
(Gonna take you down!!!)
They all screamed and cried...
(Gonna take you down!!!)
I'm never gonna fucking, gonna fucking back against the wall.
Oh, all my hate cannot be found.
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming.
So, you can try to tear me down,
Beat me to the ground,
I will see you screaming.

Current listen : Thoughtless by Evanescence and Korn, Nemo by Nightwish, Roads by Roadrunner United, The Reason by Hoobastank

Monday, March 20, 2006

My vague disposition in the past few weeks has seen me veer back to some of my old solaces.

I threw you the obvious
Just to see if there was more behind
The eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy

Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening
Failing miserably to find a way to comfort you
Hiding from some poisoned memory

I am expecting just a little bit too much
From the wounded
But I see through it all

Well, apparently nothing
You don't see me at all

Friday, February 10, 2006

Don’t read this unless you are really bored. If you are reading this sentence, it means that you already read too much. Surely, you can find something better and more interesting to do (like reading the tax regulations)I was born in 1977 in India. I got my first computer at age 8, and became a complete geek immediately. Thus, I was condemned to a life of incomprehensible toil as a programmer. Fortunately, I decided that drumming keyboards was not my fate, and faithless and jobless, I opted for a life of relaxation as provided by working in the BPO industry for 4 years. Unfortunately, and disastrously, I became good at it and enjoyed the improved lifestyle of idleness as a trainer in the same company JAt a young age, I developed pathetically bad eyesight. I could not get into the Air Force because I was legally blind, which is slightly better off than being legally blond, I guess. I am into reading Science Fiction, seeing movies (have a mighty big collection) and have recently developed “Rock Neck Syndrome” by nodding too long at a metal concert. I have a weird sense of “humor”. I am also into selling bridges - if you send me enough money, I would sell you one.

I want to be more honest with myself. I want my mind to stop believing that I look anything like Keanu Reeves, I have Stallone’s muscles and most of all, Stephen Hawking’s mind.

I wanna have dinner with the Wachowski brothers and my entire family (as one person, if that’s possible)

My idea of happiness is one day live in the house that I will build on an Island surrounded by native trees and swimming in the sea every day, oh.. And a lot of loud metal music.